Self-Esteem and Happiness:
Self-esteem is the judgment each person makes about how well he functions for himself. However, there is lots of confusion among people concerning the meaning of self-esteem. Bernstein says that such a confusion arises from two main points. Firstly , the failure to understand that self-esteem is a self-judgment about ones' self by ones' self. This failure leads to confuse self-esteem with esteem from others. Thus , that person spends his life to win as much esteem from as many others as he can in order to bolster his own low self-esteem. Secondly , a significant source of confusion about the meaning of self-esteem is the failure to distinguish between love and self-esteem. On one hand, self-esteem is a judgmental process .On the other hand, love is a feeling. Thus , self-esteem and love are two different process involving different psychological judgments. Yet love and esteem can affect each other. For example, when we love someone, we tend to overestimate him in the sense that we thinks the best about him.
When can self-esteem be a source of happiness? This occurs when people have a truly high regard for themselves. Thus, they are distinguished by their friendliness , openness and their comfort with themselves and with others. Further more, they seem to attract people to themselves without having to make an effort; simply because we all admire those who think well of themselves. Still they enjoy and want esteem from others, but they don't feel that they need it to feel good about themselves. Such a high self-esteem reflect their positive judgment about their self-organization or the characteristic integration of all that constitutes an individual. Here it is crucial to highlight that this judgment or evaluation is of his total function, not of any single activity. Another unique feature of those who have high self-esteem is possessing an appropriate degree of mastery of ones' self. In other words, this suggests that mastery of ones' realm ,in the terms of having an acknowledgment and acceptance of their full range of feelings and also having confidence in their ability to express those feelings in appropriate ways, is the fundamental basis of high self-esteem and thus of leading a happy life. Here it is noteworthy to mention that mastery of ones' feeling does not come easily rather it takes long and deep familiarity with these feelings so that they become like friends, dependable and safe. That is to say the greater mastery someone has of himself, the happier he becomes.
Needs, Satisfaction and Happiness:
Argyle in his book " the Psycology of Happiness" states that satisfaction is an essential component of happiness. He defines satisfaction as a kind of cool, reflective appraisal of how well things are going, and have been going. In terms of achievement, satisfaction is a product of the goal-achievement gap and the value of each particular goal (Locke, 1976).This means that satisfaction depends on the gap or the distance between aspirations and achievement. Here it is significant to mention that aspirations may be very high, and tend to be revised upwards once a certain goal has been achieved.High aspirations may represent a threat to happiness and hence happiness therapy tend sometimes to persuade people to lower their aspirations in order to feel much more satisfied and thus being happier (Diener, 1994). Another strategy to adjust ones' aspirations and satisfaction is by altering the points on our judgmental scale upon which we base our evaluation of how far satisfied we are.
Satisfaction and happiness are mainly derived from satisfying one's needs which what the ego feels it needs to feel happy. Here are some categories of these needs.
a. Physiological needs:
Such needs like food and water, the fulfillment of which is essential for man’s survival.
b. Emotional needs:
They are the needs which make us feel good about ourselves. So, these needs are kind of reinforcement of our emotional well-being.
c. Spiritual needs:
they are the needs to understand and to belong and to search for meaning. Unfortunately, man continues to search in areas that cannot supply the answer. He thinks to himself , “If I only I could find that perfect partner, get that promotion, then I can be happy. When I am happy, perhaps things will start to make some sense. It doesn’t occur to him that it is not always the outside materialistic world that gives us happiness and insight rather it is our inner power that really makes all the difference.
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